i did

grettings my little hoomans

as of februray 8th 2019, i am officialy 18 years old. sadly, i doesn't mean shit to me and that makes me sad. it's a feedback loop from hell, i get sad about being sad and then i get sadder about being sad about being sad. it's retareded, really. currently i am avoiding studying by pretending time doesn't exist and i'm a rockstar back in the 80's. good times

and well you may be wondering, what the fuck is wrong with you my dude? boy have i got an answer for you!! thing is, my mind is all fucked again and i'm thinking about all the things i shouldn't think about and i'm getting anxious and that's making me think about more of the things that i shouldn't think about

see? FEEDBACK LOOP FROM HELL

i fucking despise this and i do not know what to do. also i'm starting to think that i've lost my creativity which makes me really fuckung depressed

i see her everyday, living life, being happy and all and i think to myself, i shouldn't pollute her. i should let her be happy. i must avoid letting my corrupted soul touch her's. because i know she's a fuck-up just like me, but two bad won't make a good now, will they? no

they

won't